So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
