I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
