all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
