WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
