You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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