Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I deserve this hangover.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
