if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
