I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
