its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
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I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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