My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
