3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
