I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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