those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
