Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
and i looked up. we had an audience...
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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