Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
