i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
