toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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