Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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