I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
