"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
