so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
