I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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