I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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