even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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