can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Randomize
