Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
