ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
My life is pants optional.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize