I am puke
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
