and my herpes radar will keep us safe
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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