it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
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