this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
