she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
