we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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