Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
That accounts for only three of the penises
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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