i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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