I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
