he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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