Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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