I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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