Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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