i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
