I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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