She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
