when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Ladies don't puke and tell
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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