I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
