So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
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There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
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I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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