office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
