I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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