goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Someone signed my nipple.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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