True but thats because hes a fetus.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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