i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
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