My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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