i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
