i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
ttyl tear gas
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
