i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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