Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
