coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
be right there i have to get my cape
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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