But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
