I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I met the friendliest cop last night
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
