I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
