You really coming over, don't trick.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
