Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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