Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
You ate ashes out of my bong
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
