I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
