rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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