Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
