He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
