my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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